Tales From TikTok: A Woman Slams Baby Mama Culture, ‘Not A Flex!’

A woman on TikTok denounced “baby mama” culture, keeping it a buck with viewers about how being a baby mama shouldn’t be a flex.

A’Yana L., a master’s degree holder and U.S. Veteran, posted a video of herself preaching from her car on her TikTok account on March 28.


I said what I SAID. #babymama #babymamadrama #mama #mom #momsoftiktok #momlife #mother #motherhood #fyp #fypage #foryoupage #foryourpage #viral #viralvideo

♬ original sound – A’Yana L., MBA

In the video, she shut down the notion that being a baby mama was better than being a miserable wife.

“Being a baby mama is not a flex, and I said what I said,” A’Yana exclaimed before mocking some baby mamas. “‘Well, I’d rather be a baby mama than a miserable wife.’ Girl, majority of the women that be saying that ain’t ever been a wife a day in her life.”

The TikToker claimed women who preferred the baby mama life over being married were the ones who couldn’t spot a good man, even if he was in front of their faces.

“She couldn’t know a good man if a good man stood in front of her and said, ‘I’m a good man,’” the TikToker said. Second of all, if she was a miserable wife, that had everything to do with her husband and nothing to do with marriage.”

A’Yana then pointed out the perk wives received that baby mamas don’t get.

“Lastly, miserable wives can get spousal support. Ain’t no such thing as baby mama/baby daddy support,” she continued. “‘Well, being a single mom is a flex because we be making it happen.’ Two plus two equaling four does not take away from the fact that three plus three equals six, meaning two things can be true at the same time.”

A’Yana admitted to being a single mother but denied supporting baby mama culture.

“This is what I be telling you, ladies, there are a lot of women you will meet that want you to be just as miserable as them,” she said. “So, take it from me as a single mother. As quick as he wants you to get down on both of your knees for him, he should have no issue getting down on one knee for you.”

In a video posted on March 27, A’Yana expressed the same notion to her followers, exclaiming raising a child alone wasn’t a flex.


Say NO to baby mama culture. #singlemomproblems #single #singlemom #singlemomstrong #babymama #fypage #fyp #viral #viralvideo

♬ original sound – A’Yana L., MBA

“Don’t let any baby mama deceive you into believing that being a single mother is more convenient than being a wife,” she said, adding how she went through her pregnancy alone, from doctor appointments to labor.

A’Yana knew she could go off about her baby daddy but took accountability in seeing that she slept with him and that it took two to tango.

“You way too beautiful, way too smart [and] way too intelligent to be going through something like that,” she voiced. “So, live your soft girl life. Ain’t nothing wrong with saying you too good to be a baby mama. You right because us strong Black women not strong because we choose to be. We strong because we have to be.”