As Black women leaders increasingly seem under siege, Rev. Calvin Taylor Skinner examines his own struggle with misogyny.
“Notes on faith” is theGrio’s inspirational, interdenominational series featuring Black thought leaders across faiths.
“The most disrespected person in America is the Black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the Black woman. The most neglected person in America is the Black woman.” —
My own transformation began with moments of self-reflection, conversations with women leaders, and a deep desire to align my faith with my values. Working alongside such powerhouses such as my wife, Rev. Dr. Alisha Lola Jones, my aunt, Rev. Dr. Barbara Williams Skinner, who co-founded the Congressional Black Caucus Prayer Breakfast, and former United States Ambassador-at-Large for Religious Freedom Rev. Dr. Suzan Johnson-Cook, among others, I realized that to be a better faith leader, I needed to shed my biases and prejudices and champion the rights of all individuals to serve in leadership positions, regardless of gender. Considering Black women like Dr. Cynthia Hale, Dr. Elaine Flake, Bishop Yvette Flunder and Pastor Sandra Riley — or Bishop Vashti McKenzie, Bishop Leah Daughtry, Rev. Dr. Carolyn Ann Knight, Rev. Dr. Anika Wilson Brown, Pastor Janae Pitts-Murdock, and Rev. Dr. Gina Stewart, I shudder to think there are places they would not be permitted to serve as bishops, preachers, teachers and pastors. As a leader and a man, I know how many blessings I would miss out on if I dismissed their gifts and disrespected their roles.
Recovering from misogyny takes guidance and accountability with an eye toward a lifelong journey. Since I was introduced to the phrase, I have been on a journey to understand what it means within myself and how I can improve in supporting my spiritual sister and the chief muse of my life, my wife. I am fueled by my desire to know how to walk alongside this leading lady.
As I walk closely with this dynamic woman — a professor, scholar, author and minister, I witness some of the indignities she faces as a Black woman. Whether it is how she is spoken to when giving a lecture or how her presence is erased in spaces of faith, I have observed her go through leaps and bounds, only to have her abilities undermined. I have even eavesdropped on a conversation where she was advised that pursuing certain career moves would not make her attractive in our marriage.
I recognize that misogyny is a loaded term and that it manifests on a spectrum; I have never disliked or hated women. I also understand that misogynoir is not just something from which men suffer, as Black women can internalize and project it onto each other. Nevertheless, I remain on the path of unpacking my role in perpetuating it. I pursue this journey because I want to continue to enhance the life and work of my wife, but further, I desire to be the best brother to my sisters and son to my mothers. Though I may not be on the extreme end of the spectrum, I gather myself for routine checkups. Audre Lorde wrote that there is a “piece of the oppressor which is planted deep within each of us.” To remain committed to the liberation of all of our people demands introspection as we partner with our women in any capacity.
Assessing myself now, when it comes to my views on women faith leaders, I would like to say I have been proactive and honest in my support and in confronting biases when it comes to women in leadership roles such as pastoring. I’m working on it, which is why I call myself “a recovering misogynist.” While loaded, it’s a term and concept that gave me the language to delve deeper into myself and understand the continuous process required to address my latent anxieties around women leaders. Even as someone who has worked alongside several great women faith leaders — and who journeys alongside my love and life partner — I know there are still internalized biases I must remain consciously aware of when it comes to my own formation.
Walking alongside my wife, I am hyper-aware of both the privileges she enjoys and the indignities she endures. How would I respond to the slights encountered by my wife or by a sister minister? I ask myself these questions as I become ever more aware of the energy she and her sister colleagues receive within the constellations of faith.
Embracing women in leadership roles in faith communities is a vital step toward achieving a more equitable and inclusive future for us all. I can only hope we will collectively reevaluate our views and positions with a decolonized mind and a decolonized faith. On a more personal level, protecting Black women starts with the conviction that as Black men seek liberation and advancement, it must be viewed as inextricable from our Black sistren. We must walk the journey to freedom in lockstep with one another, without fail. When we take inventory of the important yet often invisible labor that metaphorically turns water into wine, everyday Black women save our lives. Yet, we keep taking for granted that our best and brightest will continue to put their reputations and lives on the line without any assurance that we’ve got their backs.
We pray that we be made ideal partners, sisters and brothers, sharing the load in our community so that we may walk together into our liberation.
Rev. Calvin Taylor Skinner is dedicated to empowering frontline communities in Knoxville, Tenn. and the United Kingdom. He uses faith and policy to address energy justice, criminal justice reform, voter education/mobilization, electoral politics, and global affairs. Along with his wife, Rev. Dr. Alisha Lola Jones, they lead InSight Initiative, a consulting firm focusing on capacity building and live events production.
Never miss a beat: Get our daily stories straight to your inbox with theGrio’s newsletter.
The post Learning to walk alongside a leading lady: Refining my faith as a recovering misogynist appeared first on TheGrio.
