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Black women who are looking for a radical way to center their own needs in their romantic relationship — and life — might want to consider a polyamorous arrangement.
Hollywood Unlocked recently posted a video to their IG featuring a polyamorous throuple consisting of one woman, Kenya, and her two husbands, Carl and Tiger. After many years of being married to Carl, Kenya fell in love with Tiger, presented the information to her husband, and agreed to open the marriage. Now, Kenya is involved with both men, who equally support and uplift her in her career, home life and emotional well-being. In the clip, Carl says, “I finally came into the understanding about feminine expression and realizing you have to allow women to be free and express themselves.”
Women have felt and continue to feel pressure to put their needs aside to prioritize the needs of others. Females with a partner and a full-time job are more likely than men in the same position to report feeling overwhelmed with responsibilities. Women also spend more time caring for children and elderly relatives than men or white women. Extra help can mean extra time for self-care. The short-lived 2021 online series Whole Lotta Love followed a polyamorous household in El Paso, Texas, consisting of nine adults who together raised five children, easing the burden of childcare across the group.
Multiple partners can mean a more satisfying sex life, too. As one doctor and sex educator explained to MADAMENOIRE, women need to have several orgasms a week for optimal health, and Black women specifically struggle to do so. The reason many women can’t climax, said the good doctor, was of particular importance. She explained that many women because they are the primary providers and caretakers in their households, struggle to connect to their feminine side in the wake of having to be strong all of the time.
When a polyamorous relationship involves multiple women, the opportunity to connect to one’s feminine side is even stronger. Such is the case for Ty, Sony and Jay, a throuple living in Jeffersonville, Indiana. The two women express that they experience a very special bond and level of intimacy, only attainable through their arrangement.
For some Black women, monogamy puts restraints on their ability to grow and flourish. Polyamory can be the pathway to a life focused on fully exploring one’s self through others and focusing on self-care.
