In celebration of Black Love Day, Kelli and Chiwionne Mason share why love can be greater later.
The next time you receive a strange request or an invite you’re less than enthused about, you just may want to accept.
When Kelli Oldham, a single woman in her early 40s based in Durham, North Carolina, “reluctantly” accepted an invitation from a friend to attend a Black professionals mixer, she met the love of her life.
Kelli, now 48, told theGrio that during the mixer she locked eyes with a gentleman across the room. Later, as she was enjoying a plate of shrimp and grits at the bar, the handsome stranger slid a napkin to her and said, “You look like you’re going to need this.” His name was Chiwionne Mason, and the two spent the remainder of the evening engrossed in “good, good” conversation before he walked her to her car. The rest, she said, “is history.”
If that whole scene didn’t already feel taken from a page out of a Tia Williams novel, seven years later, the couple — who now parent four children that Chiwionne, 45, brought to the relationship — is celebrating four years of marriage. They also inspire thousands on social media with their love story, as they affirm why love can be greater later in life.
Chiwionne explained that when you find love later in life, “You’ve lived some years of life when you’ve personally got it right and when you’ve [gotten] it wrong.”
Kelli agreed, adding, “As much as you champion your friends, family, and even strangers to experience love, it can be challenging for that love to be absent from your life. The beauty of that time, though, is that you have the opportunity to learn what worked well and what didn’t for others. You then take those learnings, along with a mature perspective of life, and apply them for the benefit of the relationship when love comes across your path.”
The Masons are also major proponents of couples’ therapy.
“After dating for three years, we recognized that if we were going to create a life together as a healthy unit, individual and couples therapy was a must,” the couple explained together over email.
The pair said they went through pre-engagement therapy for almost a year, agreeing it was “hands down” the best decision they made — that is, next to attending that fateful mixer.
“Having experienced some life before we met, the need for therapy was apparent. We maintained privacy (not secrecy) as we worked diligently to ensure we had a healthy foundation on which to build. And our relationship today is vitally tied to that therapeutic and mental health work we did prior to engagement,” the couple shared.
Even with therapy and the life experience that comes naturally with meeting in your late 30s and early 40s, respectively, the couple admits the road hasn’t been without its bumps here and there. Both Kelli and Chiwionne grew up as pastors’ kids, and in a departure from their upbringings, have been on a spiritual journey toward a less traditional religious lifestyle.
“This has not been widely accepted by those dearest to us,” they noted.
However, the pair has drawn strength from their connection. They said, “The ongoing dialogue between us, engaging in individual therapy with a trained professional, and a direct connection with the Divine has been the trifecta that has been pivotal and critical to overcoming this situation.”
As many couples celebrate both Valentine’s Day this week and Black Love Day today, ultimately, divine love is something Kelli and Chiwionne recommend finding within oneself before attempting to pursue a partnership. They advised that doing so can help an individual lean into greater understanding and “divine inspiration” during conflicts in a relationship. Mastering divine love within can also help a person develop discernment when they encounter someone lacking it.
“Therefore, you will attract the love that you’re aiming to experience,” they said. “Resilient love, divine love is a gift … that you are worthy of giving and receiving.”
The Masons added, “Remember, your heart’s desire begins with the inner knowledge that genuine love is a precious gift available, should you choose to receive it.”
Kay Wicker is a lifestyle writer for theGrio covering health, wellness, travel, beauty, fashion, and the myriad ways Black people live and enjoy their lives. She has previously created content for magazines, newspapers, and digital brands.
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The post ‘Divine love is a gift’: At 41, Kelli was tired of unsuccessful relationships; then she met Chiwionne appeared first on TheGrio.
