For instance, at two of my kids’ school, we have to pay for them to be in aftercare a couple of days a week. The cost is actually quite reasonable, except I have two kids so every day is almost double (there is a sibling discount). But then the kids want to do after-school activities in aftercare, which costs on top of that. As it turns out, the after-school activities that cost more than just aftercare are worthwhile endeavors and could make me millions one day so I’m playing the long game. The long game costs money now. But we also have these same kids in sporting activities; I really have no idea how my parents kept me in sports year-round — I also grew up in a house with four active kids. Between new shoes for the sports and activity costs and costs to practice and such, it’s like the costs of letting my kids play outside in an organized capacity might require a second (or third, really) job. I jokingly mentioned food several times a few bars back. The snack budget in my house right now is the kind of thing we just don’t speak of out loud. When my daughter and two oldest sons get together, it’s a mess. Between 10 p.m. and 8 a.m., somehow they will have gone through full boxes of multisnack packs. How? I have no clue — as far as I can see, they’re all asleep. I think they might be gremlins, real talk. All I know is that eating me out of house and home used to make me laugh and now it feels like a certainty. I think that’s why we put kids out at 18, honestly. Otherwise, they’d literally eat you out of house and home. 

Right now, I have to go out and buy some new shoes for at least two of my kids. My daughter got multiple new shoes for Christmas because I had just bought new shoes for the other kids in November. It’s January in African America, and my oldest son has already outgrown the shoes I just got. Thankfully, he’s a soccer phenom so hopefully within the next 10 years or so, he’ll sign a billion-dollar contract with some European football club, and I won’t have to work again. Is that a real goal? Yes, it is. So I will go buy him the shoes today. 

One of my other sons? Now he needs glasses. You can’t just buy one pair because one pair means there is a guaranteed break in the future, which will require both repair AND a new spare set of glasses. It never stops. Ever. 

I won’t even get started on the size (and cost) of the vehicle I had to get because of how many kids I have. Nobody in 2024 needs four kids; I have no farm. 

If you’re in the market for parenthood, let me say this: Being a parent is awesome. I love my kids; they’re a lot of fun, and even if they drive me absolutely crazy, they’re mine so it’s fine. They teach me things about myself (good and bad) and have allowed me to grow as a person. At the same time, that growth is costing me out the wazoo. When I meet adults without kids, I just think about all the disposable income they must have and the sizes of their savings accounts. Size matters, as they say. I have no disposable income. I have income my kids haven’t cost me yet. 

Kids are expensive. 


Panama Jackson theGrio.com

Panama Jackson is a columnist at theGrio. He writes very Black things, drinks very brown liquors, and is pretty fly for a light guy. His biggest accomplishment to date coincides with his Blackest accomplishment to date in that he received a phone call from Oprah Winfrey after she read one of his pieces (biggest), but he didn’t answer the phone because the caller ID said: “Unknown” (Blackest).

Make sure you check out the Dear Culture podcast every Thursday on theGrio’s Black Podcast Network, where I’ll be hosting some of the Blackest conversations known to humankind. You might not leave the convo with an afro, but you’ll definitely be looking for your Afro Sheen! Listen to Dear Culture on TheGrio’s app; download it here.

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