*During 2000-2022, more than 40% of married couples lived separately.
According to the most recent Census, roughly 3.89 million Americans are living apart from their spouses as of 2022, according to Scripps News.
“The people who are actually choosing it as a lifestyle are often people who have children from a former relationship,” said author and lifestyle journalist Vicki Larson. “As Esther Perel says, desire needs some space. Ask any person who’s in their LAT relationship one of the best things about it. And they will without a doubt say sex.”
As Scripps News reports, citing The New York Times, women are prioritizing their well-being and mental health over cohabitation.
They would rather reap the benefits of marriage while avoiding living with their spouse.
“If I take this time for myself, that means I can better show up to my relationship with my partner; and be really clear about what I want what I need and build something stronger than what we had before,” said Ev’Yan Whitney.
“It alleviates the gendered roles that people have for women, you know that we will be the cookers and the cleaners,” Larson said.
The women agree that communication is key to having a successful marriage while living apart.
“Communicate, communicate, communicate. You have to have a lot of trust and you have to set up ways to grow that trust together because you’re not around,” Larson said.
Whitney and her husband lived separately for 11 months in 2020. She resided in Los Angeles at the time, while her partner lived in their home in Oregon.
“I really felt such a spaciousness to be able to accommodate my needs, my wants, my desires,” Whitney said.
“Having that space in that time really allowed me to get clear about how i want my gender to be expressed, celebrated, honored, and acknowledged within the relationship,” she explained.
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