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Wouldn’t it be nice if Valentine’s Day always fell when you knew your exact relationship status? Being undeniably single on V-day – you can handle that. Being deep into a committed relationship – you know what to do then, too. But what happens when this heart-filled holiday shows up while you’ve just started seeing someone? So rude of Valentine’s Day. Doesn’t it know you’re in the awkward talking stage? Well, the Hallmark industry isn’t too concerned with your personal dilemma. But we are.
So, you’ve just started dating someone. Valentine’s Day is around the corner. And you have no idea what to do. We can help.
If It’s Only Been A Few Dates
If you have only been on a few dates (as in, literally three or fewer), you don’t need to do anything on Valentine’s Day. In the first three dates phase, you’re both still figuring out if you see this going anywhere. Valentine’s Day is a whole to-do. It’s expensive and filled with pressure. There’s just no reason to deal with it for someone you’ve met twice. If you’re worried the person will lose their shit with you for not planning something, great news: you just learned something. You learned that person is not someone you want to date.
Acknowledge It In Some Way
Beyond the three-date point, you should acknowledge Valentine’s Day in some way. This can even be as simple as a “Happy Valentine’s Day! Hope you’re spending it with people you love” text. Or, if you know where they live and are in the area, you can drop off a very modest gift – like a hand-picked bouquet or funny card. Saying absolutely nothing about it once you’ve been dating for a couple of months will come off as cold.
Don’t Spend It Alone
If you have decided you’re not ready to spend Valentine’s Day with this person, that’s okay, but don’t spend it alone. Here’s why: if they learn you chose to sit at home alone on Valentine’s Day over seeing them, that might hurt their feelings. So, make a date with friends for Valentine’s Day. Or, if you have a single parent or family member, offer to make them a meal. Having pre-established plans helps you avoid hurt feelings with your newer situation-ship.
Making Dinner Is Simple But Sweet
If you do want to spend Valentine’s Day with someone new in your life, you can never go wrong with making a meal. Once you go out to a restaurant, you’re thrown to the wolves. You have no idea how thick these venues will lay on the love tonight. It could be too much for your fresh relationship. Making a meal is thoughtful and romantic, but ensures things don’t feel too serious.
Do A Vibe Check
You know what the vibe has been. Maybe you and your new person fell head over heels fast, and have already been professing feelings for each other. You text all day and FaceTime every night. You’ve been openly excited about this new romance. Obviously, you’re spending Valentine’s Day with this person. On the flip side, if you’ve been playing it slow and cool, not talking much between dates and making no emotional statements…that’s different. But only you know what the vibe has been.
Don’t Spend Much
This is just a general rule for anyone. Valentine’s Day can be a real money pit if you let it. Whether you’ve been dating for three months or three years, you don’t need to buy anyone diamonds or a $500 chef’s tasting dinner. And if someone expects that of you, they’re probably with you for the wrong reasons. Plus, if this relationship is really fresh, there’s still a chance it won’t work out. And then you’ll really regret dropping $200 on that gift.
Don’t Read Into Anything
On your end of things, try not to take things personally. The other person is probably asking themselves all of the same questions you are. It’s awkward. Nobody knows what the expectation is this early on. If they ask you to dinner on Valentine’s Day, it doesn’t necessarily mean they want three kids and a house in the suburbs with you. And if they say nothing, it also probably doesn’t mean they’re over you.
